Saturday, 29 October 2011

SD Part 8

Well I do hope you enjoy this. I certainly enjoyed writing it.

Skyril frowned and collapsed exhausted outside the gates of Elysium Asylum. She hoped that someone would find her soon. Then her mind went black and she fell into a deep sleep. It had been a long few days.


Skyril screamed as the air rushed past her head and the deadly pinnacles of rock loomed up to greet her, giant knives of stone, spilt with the blood of those unfortunate enough to fall over the edge. As she was about to be impaled on the jagged rocky spikes she instinctively jammed her twin silver knives into the sides of the pit with a horrendous clash of metal on stone.
“How fortunate” she thought as she held onto the wooden handles, “that this pit has walls of sandstone”.
 With a laboured gasp she wrenched one of the knives out and plunged it into the wall just above her head. Straining with effort she pulled herself up with her arms and plunged the second knife into the stone. Suddenly the sky clouded over and it began to pour with rain, making the wooden handles of the knife extremely slippery and making her journey up the side of the pit just that little bit harder. Skyril groaned and plunged the knife into the wall once more, gradually falling into a steady rhythm of thrusting and pulling as she slowly made her way back to the surface.  It was weary, sweating work, with no food or water to ease her tiredness. Several times she feared that she would lose her grip on the knife and at times she even forgot who she was, so engrossed was she in making her way to the surface. It took Skyril four torturous days before she found herself at the summit of the Pit of Broken Souls and back in the sandy Wastelands of the Southern Cliffs. Another two days passed as Skyril tried to extricate herself from that barren maze of sand and shadows, avoiding the carnivorous beasts and the even more terrifying red wraiths. But eventually Skyril stumbled out of that nightmarish place and found herself once more in the lush green valley’s that were what one more commonly expected of Ireland.  The many towers and balconies of Elysium Asylum could just be made out as a dark smudge in the distance.
“I have to make it.” “I have to get back home”


Octaboona sat down and looked carefully at Quinn. “Skyril isn’t dead?” Quinn shook her head. “But she was pushed into the Pit of Broken Souls. No one can survive that. Nyx murdered her!” Quinn looked up at Octa with those large adorable eyes and related the events that had happened to Skyril since her fall over the edge of the Pit of Broken Souls. “And she’s currently lying unconscious outside the front door even as we speak”. Although Quinnera was only 10, she was an extremely powerful psychic with the additional benefit of knowing everything. The sum total of human knowledge and much more that remained unknown somehow managed to fit inside her head. Many explanations had been given including the will of god, some genetic mutation caused by her peanut allergy and even an allegation that Quinn wasn’t a human girl at all but an evil robot from the future sent by its alien masters to eradicate humanity before they grew into a rival power. But whether she was seen by a priest, a medical student or Skulduggery Pleasant, and a whole horde of assorted doctors, specialists and librarians, none of them were able to offer a suitable explanation. Quinnera’s own belief was that she simply utilised 100% of her brainpower as opposed to the 10% used by mortals and the 20% used by most mages. According to the ten year old girl, most of the human brain was used as storage room for virtual penguins and it was merely a matter of evicting them and sending them to Antarctica, if only you asked them nicely.
Octaboona rushed to the front door but when he reached it, Skyril was no longer outside. Instead there were marks on the ground where she had fallen and tyre tracks leading off into the distance. Someone had taken Skyril Oblivion hostage.


Israel Elysium was feeling extremely uncomfortable. He still wasn’t sure why he was dressed up in a giant green rabbit costume and shuffling through the centre of Dublin. Kallista was dressed as a giant purple rabbit and was trying to persuade Israel that there really was a giant bunny parade taking place that day. However they appeared to be the only two rabbits in sight. Israel flushed as a pair of Japanese tourists pointed at him and whispered to each other excitedly before taking out a camera and taking multiple photographs. Kallista turned around, noticed them and bowed deeply, before performing something that seemed to be a mixture of martial arts and ballet. Then she heaved a sigh of relief as she noticed a giant blue rabbit walking around the corner.
“See! I told you there was a bunny parade!” Kallista rushed over to the blue bunny and said “Wonderful costume! It really goes with your hair!” Israel groaned as he realised that Clarabelle was the third rabbit. The two girls started chattering incessantly to each other in over excited tones. Clarabelle and Kallista didn’t see each other often, on insistence by most of their friends. The two girls were highly insane and trouble inevitably followed when the two of them met. Clarabelle complimented Kallista on her martial arts/ ballet routine and asked her to teach it to her. It was quite a performance, the two of them pirouetting through St. Stephens Green, pausing every now and then to round kick passing pedestrians and on one occasion one of the GardaĆ­. It was only through sheer luck (and the promise of a bribe of cookies) that the two girls avoided arrest.
“So how is Theodore doing these days?”
“Oh he’s grand. He’s going to grow up to be a lawyer. I just know it. He ate his way through two dissertations and a law exam only last week!”
“But didn’t he want to be a beekeeper?”
“Nope. He’s definitely a lawyer”
 And as the two girls continued to discuss what profession Clarabelle’s pet gerbil was going to have, Israel slowly slipped away into the bustle of Dublin’s streets.
Or at least he tried to, but the costume made that almost impossible.
“Israel!” Clarabelle called out.
“Hello Clarabelle”
“Don’t you normally have a shotgun with you?”
“Umm... well yes normally I do”
“So why don’t you have it with you now?”
“Well it doesn’t really go with the costume...”
“But it’s so iconic!” “I’m sure you’d look lovely as a bunny holding a shotgun, positively adorable!”
“Well...  I think that people might be surprised if I did... and scared. Or else they wouldn’t take me seriously.”
“No? Bunny rabbits are very frightening and majestic creatures. How couldn’t they be taken seriously? They are kings of the animal world!”
“I think you mean lions.”
“Do I?”
“Are lions the one with the mane and teeth?”
“And rabbits have the long ears and fluffy tail?”
“That’s right”
“Then I suppose you would look rather silly with the shotgun.”
“Thank you”
“But it doesn’t really go with your jacket.”
“Excuse me?”
“The shotgun. And the jacket. They look awful together.”
“I think they make a very good combination”
“Nope. You need to keep up with the latest fashions! Leather jackets are so last year. Although I do like your eyebrows. They’re very in. I think. She tried to look up at her forehead. I should definitely re-grow mine.”
And before Israel could even speak she waltzed off directly into a lamppost.


Skyril woke up with a throbbing pain in her head. “Where am I?” she groaned. A pulsing green light permeated itself through her brain. A blurry figure could barely be seen through the bright lime haze. “Who are you?”
The figure’s voice was distorted as if coming from a long distance.
“Why my name is Kenny. Kenny Lakinson”


  1. I laugh like a lunatic ¬_¬

    and this is bloody funny ^^

    ttly shipping Kallibell right now B)

    loljk OH DEAR GOD KAL PUT THE PINK DOWN PLEzzzprkkk------------------------------------

  2. *falls off chair*


    *leaps forward, giving Octa a million hugs*


    *clings to Octa, shaking him back and forth with hugs in a comic manner*

    And how you introduced Kenny!!! Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!

    *bounces around, in a giant rainbow bunny suit*

  3. Laughing so hard right now. Hold on...hands shaking....

    *calms down slightly*

    Oh God, this is awesome. Brilliant, Octa. Brilliant.

  4. Hahah xDDD Epica Octa! You did brilliantly, as usual :D

    Lol... "You're eyebrows are very much in...I think" You had Israel written perfectly, and Clarabelle and Kallista's martial arts/ballet would of been a truly magnificent spectacle to behold xD

    Write more :D

    I came back from downstate and felt sorta down for missing everyone. But reading this was such a treat! It's late but I could not keep myself from laughing out loud! XP
    I can't even pick out a favorite part cause it's all genius and hysterical! (all except Skyril 's ordeal)
    Love the into too Kenny! Epica Octa! Well done!

  6. I'm.. speechless... this was.. wow. A Landy quality of writing here! Keep it up! :D

  7. O.o

    Need more....NOW!

    ...please? :3

    I loved Clarabelle and Israel's discussion (and Theodore)!